Salacious B(uffy): The Anita Blake Series

The librarian hands me a pack of hardbacks, eyebrows raised at the titles printed from the computer: Cerulean Dreams, The Lunatic Cafe, Micah...Anita Blake, much? How did I end up becoming a Laurell K. Hamilton junkie?

I blame the following details:

* Buffy the Vampire Slayer/Angel
* Anne Rice
* Living next to a glamorous cemetery (I like jogging around old tombstones. The dead don't laugh at my thighs.)
* Waiting too long for my next MJD fix
* A hard-boiled newsie friend who admitted in a gush of red wine and late night neurosis how much she adored Narcissus in Chains. (This was eight years ago. I picked up my first Hamilton last weekend.)

I'm reading them as soon as I can get my hands on the goth-decorated covers. This is insane. I also gobbled (in twenty minutes) the graphic novel version of her first book, Guilty Pleasures. Since I can't avoid reading spoilers, I already know Anita has gotten it on with every type of Undead, from Jean Claude the Master Vampire and Richard the Werewolf, to Micah the Wereleopard (hrm...spotty...). I wouldn't be surprised if she finds an attractive zombie some day - though at this point, she does draw the line on decomposing lovers. Hamilton's imagination is as fertile as it gets - I totally understand how she hits the New York Times best-seller list every time she publishes. She writes about a world where vampires have recently acquired U.S. citizenship, throwing a monkey wrench into the usual stake-em-and-leave-em vampire slaying stories. Her heroine Anita is an animator (no, not da kine that works for Pixar - when I first read the description of her job, I was like "Eh? How does she go from drawing cartoons to killing badly-dressed vamps?" Dense = me.), able to raise the dead in order to settle court cases and police investigations. She's also a necromancer, which means she can CONTROL the dead, a power growing stronger with each novel (and each paranormal boinking, apparently).

While I'm hooked, and will keep reading until I've exhausted the tri-county supply of Hamilton books, I cannot help laughing at some outrageous details. Like how Hamilton has made the kinky menage a trois into a power-sharing "triumvirate" of inter-species power. So if Anita's dating a wereleopard and a vampire, they can draw power from each other telepathically, increasing their natural powers through metaphysical bonding...and well...physical contact. Wokey. There's also quite a lot of different "were" animals - it's becoming an undead zoo around here! In the beginning, I was thrilled by the idea of wererats, wereleopards, etc. Now, I'm a little scared...because Anita has a tendency to get "involved" with the latest species (no were-snakes, Anita!!!). I haven't read Narcissus yet, where sex becomes an important act to keep the main characters alive (oh dear!). And I can't decide if I do prefer the characters clothed...because some of the S&M themed outfits are just too much to bear in my (shallow watered) Vogue-loving head. I mean really - do all male vampires shop at Leather Pants R Us? It makes Angel's all-black ensembles seem rather nice in comparison (and they were, weren't they?).

Argh.

But I keep reading. So far, my favorite is The Laughing Corpse, a voodoo-themed novel about killer zombies and the unscrupulous humans who control them. Very gross. Lots of supernatural fighting. In other words - less naked tussling and more clothed whupass. Hamilton is a great writer because she's able to (Count Dracula laugh...PUN) suck you into her improbable world, where a tough heroine with a penchant for guns and stuffed penguins reigns supreme over all other beings. If you can suspend disbelief at Anita's sexual prowess and shield your eyes from the odd fashion choices, this series is worth a few guilty reads in the near-dark.